Ja-Ja.. de la que nos salvamos?

With the marriage of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes set to take place in Italy just a few hours from now, it's finally sinking in: There is really nothing any of us can do to help her, other than hope that as we speak, a ragtag commando group comprised of Holmes ex-boyfriends Joshua Jackson, Chris Klein, and the sweet kid from fifth grade who's now a claims adjuster in Toledo are quietly scaling a turret at Odelschi Castle, making a last-ditch effort to save their former love from her absurdly well-guarded cell. Unfortunately, even this crazy rescue fantasy of ours ends in Klein tripping over his own feet while attempting to dance through a seemingly impenetrable lattice of alarm-triggering lasers, a tragic act of clumsiness that results in the brave trio's public hanging at tomorrow's wedding reception. In short: Goodbye, forever, Katie. We'll always have Wonder Boys and that thirty or so seconds from The Gift. Enjoy this final round-up, for the next time we speak of the couple, it will be as Mr. and Mrs. Tom Cruise {DEFAMER}